Horror Binge..

Of  late, I find myself watching one  horror movie after another. I dont know what my unconcious wants?? Is the recession not scary enough??

Anyways…here is a brief account of horro movies I have watched…I would love to include Dhoom and Mr Natwarlal as well but since I could not sit through in either of them…they will not be included in the feature (let me call this..that! plz)

EKUSUTE (Extenstions)

Now we all know about the Japanese and the horror connection. I have seen Ring and a movie called audition which was not exactly horror but was dsgusting. SO..this movie..called hair extensions is about a corpse which has its hair growing. The corpse is of a girl who got trapped in the organ trade racket and was brutally murdered (something we know from the visions all the victim have). This creepy man who works at the morgue lays his hand on this corpse and begins to sell the hair extensions. Fully aware of the consequence ..that people who use her body parts are bound to die…he begins to avenge his disrespect. The movie switched between this creepy and disgusting hair story…and the story of a little girl who suffers a regular thrashing from her mother. A weak movie, never reaches the climax…and leaves you high and dry about the organ trading racket. A funny disfigurement of the morgue caretaker in the end left me in splits…

My rating….4/10 imdb rating

imdb rates it at 6.4/10

 

American Werewolf in London

I remember watchin Rahul Roy turning into a tiger every full moon night. And that I can tell made me a little afraid of the full moon. I wont let any one step out on such nights..fearing the maneater. I thought this movie..would give me the same chills. But turns out it turned out to be a cheap… a very very cheap part comedy part horror movie. Hard to believe it inspired junoon which was pretty much at the upside. Now…Mr Kessler and his friend are backpacking in ENgland..when a werewolf attacks them. Killing the friend (who visits the protagonist from the limbo throughout the movie). Kessler is werewolf now. Recovers in a hospital….does it with the nurse for freaking 10 minutes (Now….why is tht given so much importance).  Sets free as a werewolf..enters a theater showing porn (You get to see that as well) and then you see him commenting on the storyline….its just plain no story dud. Falls flat. Tells you to stop wasting your time. Utter wolf shit. The man even waks up naked at the zoo…steals balloons from a kid who says “Mom..a naked american stole my balloons”. A horrible B grade movie…not even worth a watch. GOnna kill my cousin for downloading this digital mistake!

My rating: 1/10 for achievement in the rubber suit which is pretty nice.

imdb rating :7,5/10

 

The Shining

Now, a lot of people have seen this movie, and is sometimes dubbed as one of the greatest horrors of all times. I saw this movie..and the first 50 minutes were spine chilling. Jack Nicholson reminded me of the Heath Ledgers Joker act…(infact…it should have been otherway around). The lady…looks pretty except that she does not. Kid is irritating and dumb. The Grady girls in the corridor, the elevator shaft scene were amazing. I mean…in totality, movie offers a lot to bite your nails on. I mean..the scene where Jack Nicholson has written nothing but “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” on scores of sheets in different formats is actually terrifying. His encounters with the ghosts of the 1920 party are amazing as well. But what I didnt like about the movie that its inconsistent at places. A lot has not been shed light upon though has been referred to at times. The craziest of them all was vision of a man dressed in a bear suit performing “acts” on another man. Now…amidst of kid being chased by crazy father and mother running in the mansion with a knife..interleaved with 5 seconds of this bear shot…made me howl wtf a couple of times..not in fear but for the sake of the absurd. Unexplained ..weird!!  The best part was the last shot….where Jack is shown to be present at the 1920 party…. the most chilling scene in the movie. The shining happens to me most documented movie in hollywood and as the internet tells me…that has the record for most number of takes for a scene as well. A nice watch…as my second thoughts surface.

my rating:7/10

imdb rating: 8.5/10

In my own defense

The Never returning Indians and there endless monologues about the climate, the pollution, the education…the politics the terrorism and every other dinner time conversation…can be single handedly hijacked as if they are the soul porfessors in the subject!

What exactly gives them the right to judge the economic policies of India..? A person who is completely detached from the ground realities of India, I believe deserve a lesser right to comment upon the gravity of the taliban situation here. Now…who is unaware of the Taliban..ISI link, but the other day…this man was eating my head with all the theories he was suggesting. Claims that Phd scholars donot get any jobs invited my disapproval. Now I really respect people who even think of phd…and I had to save the faint appreciation for the propogandists of the new world order from this belittlement on the dining table! I swooped in to claim that a lot of it depends on what you have pursued and form where you have obtained your doctorate. I thought the beleaguered doctorate had been brought to the dry land now….but what I didnt see was I was on the range now.

Talking of Engineers…so many engineers in India…and barely a couple of them will get jobs. Mommy…when your son is pursuing Engineering…it would not hurt to stay quiet on a topic which invovles prospects of unemployment for the mass produced engineers. SO..here..was the punch coming…

“Now..you will jump in to rescue Engineers too”

“I need to save the poor linguists after chinese and japanese first” is what I could have said…but I said

“Similar logic applies here….where you have acquired is a concern…”

These couple of people who think that eating maggies twice a week is the pure indication of ones inclination towards the chink land, ya uncle said that to me..

“Maggie in the breakfast…you too are going to CHina then”

fuck! is what I literally spelled out loud

The wors thing is ..that my dad who is so eager to express his contempt for the nation teams up with him to talk about the market places….and about the poorly made movies(Now..uncle ji…you watch Singh is King…both of us know whom were you watchin in the movie…so…appreciate what deserves to be).

I am not exactly happy bout the elongated stay..which everyday translates into this India versus the World talks. The man has a masters in Obama talk as well. I mean what….Japanese get a better view of the world from there kya?? Do they get a different web…or does obama whispers his policies in their visions every night??

“What happened? Are they not picking up?” I asked out of courtsey..

“Everyone is lazy…everyone is involved in this giant stinky putty of incompetence” is almost what he meant.

Now..I believe that Honda created Asimo…and you have some coolest innovations in Japan as well..but how can you even propose that you had a hand in making them?? Now I am a firm believer in the social collaboration but I dont think providing good food to ill fed (they still prefer a glucose drip for luncheons) Japanese…you have something to claim in the nation building…nor did you coach the last miss universe from Japan!!!!!

Is this what people settled in abroad turn into?? Is this what people who stay in India turn into? The striker and the goalie are no longer enjoying the game.

The Japanese connection

They see the pictures of my cousins….and say….”Arey…they are chinki!”

Yes they are….they are half Japanese!

My family…has a strange obsession with the chinese…japanese…korean! Apparently…India is not east enough for them. 

I still remember the day when my uncle had brought his Japanese “friend” home. Way back in the 90s when I was just a color book holding kid..it all seemes extremely moviesh! You dont get to see Japanese people roaming around at your place. 

I was a xenophilic..and at that age who is not. It all seems like a wonderful fairytale…where this really fair funny eyed, straight hair lady tells you that its past your bed time! I was really shy…why wont be…I was asked to recite those “desh bhakti” poems by my parents to my aunty! People…it was not the Indo-China war…and Japanese are not Chinese. My first few words were pretty much restricted to pointing at something and clearly mouthing out the polysyllabic hindi for say an umbrella. To which she would tell me the Japanese for that.  She even got rechristened by my mom…her indian name was Priya (which..never caught off).

Every morning we used to see these tiny cups with black tea them..and nobody was allowed to touch them…some….buddha thingy I was told.I still remember teaching her “idli”,”khargosh”,”bandar”. She didnt know the meaning of “bandar” and we used to get a kick out of it every time she fell to say “Pradeep Bandar” (Pradeep is my uncle).

My mom…used her as a prop in one of her lessons at school as well…where she had to wear her kimono (I mean..what are the odds….a random japanese has a kimono in the bag).

So…everytime they are in India..everybody has the same questions…

“So…buildings are made of…wood?” Now..how does that matter to you.when you are not a woodpecker?

“How many earthquakes???” Now…who counts when you are in Japan.

“Last month we had three minor” said uncle. They do count!

“What do you wear” the next door aunty to my aunt. “Do you wear suit….saree??? You know how to wear a saree?”

Its like…whenever chachu comes back home..he has these triva bout India..which he eats my brain off asking bout. And eerytime he would go …”Arey..ye bhi nahin pata?” . And..to that…I asked translation to some chinese songs..I had recorded (Home TV…remember?). Now…even Chinese have a hard time understanding pure chinese…so..I got my payback.

Talking to my cousins…was way tough. The elder one didnt knew much of English…so…it was like communicating with words. Leave hime alone with me and I will have hard tome talking to him. Once I had to tell him to take a bath…Now..Japanese dont take a bath the way we do (Bucket…and mug. Nor do they take it daily…..yuck). So…sign were not much of help. But we manage somehow!!

Its really pleasant to have such a mix…for once you get to have a cool aunt who bakes awsome cake..and makes…awsome dumplings!

Pilot

I am not here to praise the blurry fuzzy but to bloody bury it. to err is binary…is my new philosophy abou life. A way back to the black and white. To err is binary ..you either do it or you dont. You make mistakes…you regret…but something done (read transmitted) would be percieved (read decoded) in a wrong manner at the other end (read receiver). The only thing one can do is to ensure…that the one has enough good will (read parity) that corrects the error.

There goes a proverb…which says “The arrow from your bow, and the word from your mouth cannot be taken back”. And here we havea  binary equivalent as well. The error you do in transmission…you have no control over it…its upto the destination to make up for them now.

See…how entwined binary is with our lives… isnt there a popular  brand that say “you either have it or you dont”?? Well.. there are somethings…that are binary…and there are some things that are not. Since the manifestation of bring a binary in turn is governed by logic….I proudly have overcom the Russels’ paradox.

Wasnt shakespear the father of all the binary???  “To be or not to be”

May be…may be not!! see…binary…again!

So…you either would get repelled by this twisted logic…or you would wanna come back! and in case you belong to either of the categories..which logically translates into simple assumption that you exist…I must inform you that this blog is not about deep..mathematical… discrete formulations….but about things which either are a figment of my imagination…or not!!

  all the contrasts…all the coins…all the complements…all the duality…all the negations..all the contradictions..all the tautologies……here I come